It came.
And it went.
Last December [ my last entry for that month dating on the 8th - "You Are Part" - The Human Heart ] I had the honor of performing in a wonderful, heart-touching cabaret. It was an incredible experience and, for some strange reason, it feels like more than a year ago.
This December, I spent the last couple of weeks of my semester in England. Then, I came back from England in time for Christmas and got to spend time with some friends, some family and the love of my life.
I wish there was a way to just... combine every image I have taken over this year and have each moment be so significantly acknowledged, because this was an incredible year. Not only did I grow as an individual, but I've gotten opportunities to travel out of my element with some friends.
I started this year with a recipe for becoming a better human, a better example, a better living creature. I called it:
"Self-Promotion, Progress and Positivity"
Before you begin, wash your hands thoroughly with pure, unsaturated gratefulness, unblended admiration and compassion-concentrate. After drying them with the acceptance of the world around you, you may prepare the appliances.Source: "Hoping You'll Come With Me [ January 3, 2014 ]
From one to twelve, I number it. It was modeled to be exercised over the span of the year. Sometimes I stringently followed it. There were also times where I failed to even acknowledge it or this blog because I was too busy experiencing what life had thrown at me. Then, as the end of the year came, I was blessed enough to have the experience I feared would break me, make me.
I'll get to that later, and just like anything else, if you want to know specific details or in length want to hear me go on and on about it, feel free to contact me. I have more things to share with you all here, on this spectacular New Year's Evening.
"Into Giants" - Patrick Watson
This is what I'm jamming to, bringing in the New Year.
New Year, New Year, New Year, New Year.
I'm excited. I'm excited for what's to come, I'm excited for what's already happened, even.
I found something pretty interesting and powerful on one of the social media websites I frequent.
Alert: this link contains strong language that might be considered as offensive or profanity. Just so you guys are aware and go into it knowing; because I like to refrain from keeping obscenities in this happy place.
Source: Twitter user "So Damn Relatable (@Relatable)"
This was supremely powerful. It made me scroll back up as soon as my brain registered the first line and few words there after. It escalated, with justification to do so, because this is something that would and should infuriate people. It's something that is much bigger than all the nonsense that usually bothers us - like the privileges we get from our families, from our countries, from our educations, from our occupations.
Last week, I settled on the fact that we'd never be able to obtain world peace, that we'd never feed World Hunger.
A wise man once told me to "never settle for anything."
And then I got a whiff of something brilliant, a second wind for this year, if you will.
Reflecting on my amazing experience and how appreciative it made me of all the things and people and places and ideas and events in my life, I realized that there were probably other people on this planet who thought the same thing, and this was probably why, for the pace that our lives are lead, the progress for things that can be solved like these is as it is.
Unfortunately, there was another thing I found to kick me back into gear.
It's a bit of a read, but when I found someone shared this on the same site, different user, I paid every little detail the utmost attention it deserved.
"TW. Suicide, transphobia 17yo trans girl's heartbreaking suicide note - and her mother's announcement. I feel sick."- @LibrarianBoi
"TW. Suicide, transphobia Parents: DO BETTER. Love your children. Respect their identity, honour their choices. Treat them as human beings."
Source: Twitter user "Trans Boi Princeling (@LibrarianBoi)"
I've posted the image in here as well so that you can read it easier.
You can say what you will, we'll never understand individual problems until we're in the shoes of the individual experiencing that problem.
There's an issue with this society, Leela's right. The fact that people are getting shot and that the news covers this more frequently than endorsing - no, educating - citizens of the good that they can do. Instead of having a natural inclination to harp on the bad, we should harp on the good; I've mentioned this and went into depth about it in my F. [ November 25, 2014 ] entry.
I have no reason to condemn the parents nor their child. That's not what I'm bringing this up for.
I'm mentioning it because I just wish I was someone that had been in Leela's life.
I may be no martyr, no Messiah or figure of hope for all of mankind, but I do make sure that every individual in my life knows with great confidence that I love them and that they are very significant to my life and memories - and even my future. Without any of the people I have encountered - seasoned readers will be able to easily quote me when I say - that I would not be the person I am and I would not be living the amazing life I am today.
I just wish that there was a way I could reach out to the people that are hurting, that are lost, that are clueless and let them know that they're never alone. Even if they're not religious or spiritual or emotionally driven to bother with hope and its many benefits, I'd just feel satisfied knowing that I could talk to them like everyone else in my life, ask them how their day was, have a random conversation about a meal they had during the day, the places they want to go, the people they have met and the stories they have in their head.
I have a knack for running around and finding people with creative minds. Or, at the very least, helping them tickle their creative aspects and incorporate it into the other components in their lives.
Leela would have not guaranteed that she would not have committed suicide even if she did speak to me. But, I would have had the possibility of at least doling out truth and peace to her that she could have spread to other people. Love is something that, without any strings attached, can spread faster than some people might realize.
An open heart and an open mind keeps the flow of communication going.
I wanted to briefly bring that up. I spoke with one of the biggest individuals of strife in my life of it today and they gave me the retort, "if it was supposed to be a certain way, human beings would have two reproductive organs," essentially. I quickly replied that there are such things, hermaphrodites, and that they are scientifically existent, that they can operate in society and the only reason the word has any sort of connotation to it other than its scientific purpose is because of a stigma that has been placed upon it.
We don't condemn the word "pencil" or "pebble" or even "map," so what's the difference between one word and another word? It's just there for us to communicate with.
There are some things I don't understand yet, and those will come with time and maybe I will be able to answer some of my own questions. However, as it stands, there is only one solution to many of the obstacles I have faced in my time and that is something I'm growing to further the definition of, and that's "love."
Good.
Peace.
Happiness.
Sharing.
Completion.
I have someone remarkable, someone hilarious and compassionate and beautiful and wonderful, in my life. He's currently cleaning his room, wearing a silly trapper hat indoors and listening to the music of his people. He's done a pretty good and quick job, seeing as how he started when I was a few paragraphs away.
It just so happens that he's male.
It just so happens that he's from a town over.
It just so happens that he loves me too.
Because I do love him, and there's nothing anyone can tell me otherwise.
I'll consider what people have to criticize my relationship for when they're actually in it with me. Until then, I will continue to share this love I'm exploring with all of those around me, as my special someone is reminding me to.
Hope all of your holidays were amazing and that you all had a wonderful year, whether you remember your resolutions or not. And when you make the half-hearted ones for this upcoming year, never forget those who helped you reach this point in your life so that you have the opportunity to make this hope, this promise to yourself that you'll become better in some aspect.
Acknowledge the fact that you're a beautiful human being, that you are surrounded with good, and that you can do so much with your life - no matter your circumstances.
I say it from the bottom of my heart to all of you this may reach before the new year or even those who will see it in the future: Thank you for every single thing you have done for me, for those dear to me, for yourselves, for our future on this planet. I am humbled by the beauty in this world, but the potential of good that I have in my immediate environment and the amazing world that's around all of us.
Never shed a tear because you're frustrated and angry at the world.
Shed a tear because you now know, with confidence, that you possess the love to help fix it.
It'll be like putting pieces to a puzzle together, but there's more than one of us here for a reason.
For many reasons, actually.
Let's do this.
Here's to 2015!
12. Take a moment to admire the changes you've made. It's not easy as cooking, per se, but it most certainly is doable. And not too many people follow the instructions. Some may waver, some may find faults and mend it to their own, come up with better or worse results - some may even end up with the same heart that they started with. After you spend about a few winks of your eyes, a few tears of admiration and the same gratefulness that bathed the heart before all else, fit the heart right back where it belongs and your body in the place it belongs. Your mind will have recalibrated to accommodate the matters of your new body, and you can enjoy your self-promotion, progress and positivity. Serving size contingent upon the willingness and capacity of your heart.
I mean, I still can't cook, but I've made a pretty good dish, I'll say. I'll try this again come tomorrow, and we'll see how the new year takes us!
God bless you all and may you all have a wonderful life ahead of you. Thank you for being part of this year for me and for yourselves. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Yours truly,
<3 ~ Darin F. Earl, II.
