{{ w o u l d } you go ALL the WAY - b e . t h e . o n e . i ` m . l o o k i n g . f o r . ;

It's the last day of January!

My January, as I had announced, was dedicated to understanding. I took a step back, figured out what it was I needed to think of, to focus on. Interestingly enough, they weren't the only things I needed to stay on my toes for. It was a rather rough month, managing multiple things at once while also managing a stable and level head. I feel, honestly, like I've come to even understand myself better because of my approach. Understanding why I say the things I do, why I hang around the people I do, why I do the things I do - it's all important in its own rite.

The song is "Adore" by Paramore.

When was the last time you were outside at night and just looked up at the moon and the stars? When was the last time you felt courageous and challenged yourself to count the stars? When was the last time you sat and appreciated the world and everything it has?

The first thing I thought when I got home was how the strings of my family were being pulled taut, how family - as a great test of inner strength and a crutch for development as they are - pushes you into becoming a better person. Then, not even an hour later, my mother steps into the door and says the first thing she always does, every single day. It just settled within me that she's done this, everyday, for about twenty years.

"Thank you, Father."

My mother is a dedicated and practicing believer, so she's been rooted in her spiritual faith and upbringing. It was like a siren through the calm night how right she was to be grateful for a home to sleep in. I cannot say that I do anything less in my mind - I am grateful for the people I've met, for the people I interact with every day, and for the things I can smile about. Even the things that aren't intended with the objective of making me smile demand a smile from me.

But, I was on my way home today, and I was thinking about what I was going to do for this entry. Incidentally enough, the last day of January falls on a Tuesday, so it had to be pretty impressive. But, of course, I don't think I can recount any of my thoughts - if I even had any that were noteworthy - to share. They've simply slipped my mind.

Anywho, I'm interested to hear what everyone's come to understand, what they think their purpose is, what their beliefs are, how that makes them a better person, what they are capable of doing, and how they can change the world.

Ah~! An individual whom I revere made a remark of our generation. I'll paraphrase, since he's not available for consent to directly quote him. He made note of how we are in a bit of a standstill in history. We, as the present generation, are not entirely to be known for anything. We're post-wars and post-depressions; everything is just too bland and level to distinguish it as. He essentially said that we're a faceless generation - a generation with hopes and dreams that can reach for the stars, but will not end up doing so. Whether this was because of our physical and literal capabilities or mindsets, I'm not sure, but I'll disagree with him and argue that remark with him whenever I encounter him.

[ He quoted Fight Club, apparently, though I doubt he doesn't believe in it fully. Haha. ]

He's had his fair share of contemplation, as should you. You should sit down and actually think, do any of the things I think are true resound a solid and weighted influence in my life? I can say I superficially find something interesting, but if it's not true to my nature, then what good does it do?

I'll give you an example: becoming someone influential and inspiring can curtail into becoming famous, which is oft associated with money. However, should money not regulate the means of survival - ie. food and living venues - I would not bother with it. The greed and fallacies that revolve around the simple creation have evolved too far to simply deal with anymore.

But, of course, money's not the only problem in the world. It's not even close to the biggest problem.

I can hear strangers moaning and groaning of how something or the other has cost too much. How something or the other is obscenely made or prepared. How someone is doing a very poor job and should not have the right to do such a thing. Harsh words or not, they are not just. Be thankful for having the resources to buy that over-priced item, or having the options to obtain it elsewhere. Be grateful that someone used time out of their life to do something for you, a stranger. Be glad that someone is doing something to support their families and economies, as we all should be looking to do.

What else have you understood? The purpose of an education? The purpose of doing something repetitive and redundant?

In the words of my great pal, Erik Garnes, "Perfect practice makes perfect."

Perfection's a pretty tough goal to reach for, I'll admit, but if you're on the right track, it won't seem that bad once you get started.

There were some other things I'm sure I wanted to inquire of your understanding: the significance of your conscience; the importance of others in your life and what you would say as your credo - though, I'm a bit tired from the demands of life and am a bit about with the in--Ah~!

I also wanted to speak of first-impressions, stereotypes, and assumptions. Nothing too deep, but just to make a note. On my way home, I saw a band of older adults standing and sitting outside a convenience store, speaking. My music player had run out of battery, so I could hear snippets of their conversation and laughter. They glanced at me as I looked at them, though my first thought, admittedly, was that they were a bit strange and to stray from them. Of course, they're always outside of that convenience store and they chat the evening away with fat cigars. My redeeming pensive moment resolved to, "they're just having fun with their lives as they will."

This made me think of all the times individuals make joke or seriously inflict the differentials of the diversity of people. Gender, race, intelligence, orientation, and the like - none of it matters. Just thought I should officially let you all know that.

So, yeah. On my way home, I stopped and looked up at the sky. I saw a pretty proportional crescent with a dozen handfuls of stars to speckle across the sky. Through the branches of trees that proved a partial frame, I thought it very interesting that I would stop and wonder if anyone else just stopped to look up at the sky.

And, before my music player shut down, the song played - "Adore". It made me think, not of whoever Hayley Williams - lead singer of Paramore, the band - is singing to, but of herself and then I put that in my perspective, and then to the generalized perspective of others. You should adore yourself. Absolutely so. As silly as it may sound, the highest person you look up to should be yourself. Arrogance isn't the way to go, but it'd do well to know that you're your best confidant, best friend, and best essence of yourself.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to run and spend the rest of my last day of Understanding January figuring out what to do for the rest of my life.

<3 ~ Monty.
=]

Gratia Plena . . .

<3 Pray or what you will for the family of Carmine Boniello. Even if you did not know him or his family, set aside a solid ten minutes thanking him for everything he has done. Thank you, Mr. Boniello. You are an amazing individual and will always be in our hearts. <3
May you rest in peace.

Prayer promise: To pray for the Boniello family for the 93 days after Mr. Carmine Boniello's passing in honor of his great life. If you don't pray or worship or what have you, pay respects to anyone you are familiar with who have also passed away and celebrate their lives. It'll strike raw nerves if you do it right, I'm sure.


We're humans, not machines.

Day 4 of 93.

- Monty.
=]

take these [ B R O K E N ] wings && learn to ~ F l y . . .

Just to let you know from the bat, this might be a bit lengthy, so if you're preoccupied with other work, feel free to tend to it and then return to this if you ever do have the time. If you do not, it is just as well, I suppose.


The song is "Blackbird" by The Beatles.


I always think when I am in a bit of a rut. Perhaps it's a poor quality, perhaps it an advantageous one, but it's simply one I have. I think of others, and while they may deal with being in ruts by thinking of optimistic and happy things, absolute distractions from whatever dilemmas they may possess, I contemplate those who are less fortunate. I mull over my stance and predicament, only to compare it to those without homes, those who know no one to call their family, and those who seemingly have no future.


I think of how their burdens are much more important than the trivial matters of my own, how I can simply remedy mine. Instead of doing so, however, I resolve to make a way - directly or indirectly - to fix it. It's seemingly and readily deemed impossible to do such a thing; to fix another individual's problems from the other side of the world, when these people are complete strangers, when it is uncertain whether the prospective conditions are even valid - yet nothing is impossible. We do not know what tomorrow has yet to bring, so how can we be so certain that things will not fall in our favor?


I'm not saying my attempts at making the world a better place, as minuscule and insignificant as they may seem presently, are righteous and in all the ambitions of a pure-heart - only of a right conscience.

And, with the right conscience, one can take a simple and personal experience to heart. It can be spread to blanket over the entirety of the public and relate to the many specific instances of individuals both familiar and completely recondite. We may not know these people or the individual who started it all, but we know someone in our lives who's experienced such a thing, and our compassion automatically kicks in. We then would have an inclination and desire to make a change, a beneficial difference for not just one person we know, but for as many people as we can.

It can be for the selfish acknowledgement of a purpose and intent for your life, or it could just as well be for the simple, selfless good.


My school participated in the March for Life. There were approximately nineteen students who had gone and I've heard extraordinary response of them. The number of people, while it was unfathomable to imagine all in one place for one purpose and higher than the projected number of attendees, is still magnificently impressive. And it will only continue to increase as interest in humanities are increasing. I would have loved to have gone, to be able to explain to you what the site was like, but my friend had said more than enough:

"We got to the top of the hill, having finished the entire march, and we looked behind us. There were still people marching the entire thing. It was amazing."

A march for life. Showing an active practice of the importance and doing it in such an inclusive way is something remarkable, I'll say.



Life.


Life is sacred. It is cherished and, while we may joke with superficial words that barely dive into our core and essence or argue of the controversial matters regarding one's life-choices, we are all aware of the crucial necessity of life. We are intimidated by the concept of departing from our present lives and environment because of many reasons, which completely envelop who we are as a person. If we understand what we need to, our directions will become clear, our obligatory aspirations distinguished.


I heard a new friend of mine during rehearsal speak of a youtube video. It is called "99 Balloons", and it's a very touching video of a miracle of life.

99 Balloons

Thank you, Gina.

It may not be your cup of tea - whether you believe in a particular deity or not in one at all - but it's most certainly not easy to say that there wasn't something supernatural about the family's experience. The child, as most are, was a godsend to his parents. They loved him just as much as any other child would. The only thing, I believe, that set him apart from the rest of us individuals was that he showed, while it wasn't entirely his choice, that he was more than capable of surpassing the expectations of humans, that it was capable to do something impossible.


I admire Eliot and his parents. Each day, they celebrated a birthday - something we now would much rather forget with our passing years - celebrating another day of life, another day of surviving and being with those who loved him.


In case you didn't care to finish watching the video, an abstract from the video's detail explained his life challenge:

"Eliot was born with an undeveloped lung, a heart with a hole in it and DNA that placed faulty information into each and every cell of his body."

- IgniterMedia, Youtube Channel

And, of course, whether you believe in an afterlife or not is completely pointless. You should not live to reach whatever pleasantries or deterring incentives that are on "the other side". You should focus on "this side", the present, what is around you now. Take what you can control and set it before you. Maintain your path of choice and adhere to it fully. Make your life and the lives of those around you as magnificent as your right judgment justifies.


I'd much rather hear a man lived his years passing on advice and wearing a gentle smile than an individual who had made poor choices all their life and held so many regrets before they were able to redeem and resolve.


There have been a few students in my school who have been struggling, battling the crippling ailments that science and faith have collectively yet to completely conquer and push to extinction. One in particular, who I've grown into a friendship with and have called him Q despite his initial ambiguity of the nickname [ he's accepted it because he knows I would call him nothing other than such a thing ], has reminded me that, even if our own communities and schools, the feat of impressive strength coming from within and outside of ourselves is prevalent. I don't know too much of his status, but he's made a recovery and was well enough to stop in and visit us today. I was more than elated to see him, and he most certainly was looking very healthy.


He was jokingly [ I hope, haha ] upset with me because I had woken him a bit earlier than he anticipated to get up. But, upon a quick recovery, everything was alright. I admire Q and I think that a lot of people could learn something from him, even if he has nothing to say.


Glorify every person. It does not make any person less important or more significant, but it does show that each person is special to you for one reason or another. They may even be special for more than one reason - and, better yet, if not to you, then to someone else.


All the more reason for "Everybody to Love Everybody".


Lastly, I'd like to acknowledge one of my professors. He is quite the chivalrous man. The golden knight of our school, for certain. I revere this man in any and all aspects, for he is intelligent, charismatic, genial, and a great singer to boot. He's always walked through our hallways with a bright and lively smile on his face, greeting all the students he instructed and even the colleagues whom he jutted his elbows into, delivering a not-so-grand punchline to a superbly-predictable joke.

Yet, somehow, they were still just as funny in his mind as they were in ours, I'm sure.


Everyone admires him. It's nothing short of the truth to say that we all love Mr. Thomas Boniello. As intense as our school community is to embrace a filial atmosphere, it is hard to ostracize Mr. B in any regard. As soon as my classmates in math and I inquired of Mr. B's early departure from school when we saw him in the parking lot today, we had assembled with our bits and pieces of knowledge that he was tending to family matters. He was visiting his father in the hospital, we concluded, and our collective remarks of Mr. B's family's safety and blessings soon pooled together.


I instantly put down my pencil and prayed for his family.


My good friend, who I'm sure you're relatively familiar with at this moment, Alex Quow, spoke of how he noticed some kind of irregular vibes from Mr. B this morning. He came in to work, composed and relatively comfortable, I'm sure, and showed no signs of anything being wrong. Hence our astonishment and worrying when we gathered the news of his father. What's more was, at lunch, Alex mentioned how he would be sure to send the great man an e-mail later, expressing our concern and hoping and blessings. I took it upon myself to send the e-mail at that moment, from the both of us.


He replied a bit later, thanking us for our kind words and how the school family is such a welcoming and embracing and gracious place. Tears came to my eyes as I read on. Today, on this Tuesday, the 24th of January, 2012, his father passed away. Mr. B said that his father enjoyed his last days by watching his favorite football team, The New York Giants, win the NFC Championship, and having dinner with his family on Monday.

It's a sad time when we mourn over the departure of an individual we know. Even more so when those particular persons are people who are family members, who were people very near and dear to us. However, as the age-old response of merit to that is to rejoice of their lives and they good they've done goes, it is more reasonable and better to do so. Surely, they will be missed, but they are not gone. Not now, and not forever.

Mr. B, just know that we are all in your heart as your father watches over you. We may not have been familiar with the man, but he must have been a great individual to have raised such an exuberant and exemplary gentleman as yourself.

I, personally, thank him for everything he's done, as I am grateful for knowing you and experiencing your magnificent tutelage and friendship. May all of the readers and non-readers, students of yours gone or come, or not to cross paths with you at all and their blessings be with you and your family. We all know very well that you, of all people, deserve the most love and comfort you need - and even more.

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night,

Take these broken wings and learn to fly.

All your life,

You were only waiting for this moment to arrive."

- The Beatles, "Blackbird"

<3 ~ Monty.

=] 

i ` h a v e ` a ` D. R. E. A. M. ~

It's a fathomable thing: peace on earth.

John Lennon's "Imagine" as performed by Christina Aguilera conveys this possibility.

Transcendence seems to be a growing occurrence - being able to push aside our inhibitions and inner demons for a greater cause. There are the noble few and the even fewer who are so virtuous as to tend to the path we're to follow. To firstly pluck the blades of grass intently from the crust of the earth, down on their hands and knees to ensure the fulfillment of their efforts, then to get to their feet and return all the way to the beginning, having reached all about the earth to set up their efforts, and then to drag the burdens of man along in the right direction. Even when times were worse, when we were unable to physically do the things we are capable of now, people have made great leaps.

Merely thinking about it fills me with a sweltering pride.

Today, on this Monday, we observe and revere one of the great pioneers in Civil Rights. While he is predominantly acknowledged for the rights of African Americans, but if one would sit through his speech and read it as I have, the message is quite more than merely rights for "the black man".

On the twenty-eighth day of August in the year 1963, Martin Luther King, Jr. stood upon the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C. before many people. His speech, nearly twenty minutes of intellectual, reasonable, and admirable remarks, is something of a marker for man: the milestone for both that time and now. He spoke of many things, relating to the people of that time that still find a place in today's society to squat upon and highlight as a moral and ethical error.

The first line of his speech was:

"I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation."

- Martin Luther King, Jr., "I Have A Dream" speech, Aug. 28, 1963.

The truth of the matter is that he was completely right. No other observation for freedom has surmounted it yet. He then goes on to speak of the lacking display of productivity in regards to freedom for man. This can most certainly be seen today. High and low, examples of inequality and injustice riddle our society - it's quite embarrassing, if you ask me. Knowing that, with all of the insightful things people say, all of the wisdom passed on from older generations to the younger ones, ignorance is still present. Not every human being is perfect nor are they identical. Expectations should never be set so high as to become detrimental to those who may not make the mark.

Even to this very day, with the economies tripping over themselves and the fallacies of celebrities blemishing their honorable names for even more publicity, mankind is lost. We've been searching for our reason to be from day one, and we still have not found an inkling. Would you pardon me to insert an opinionated statement for a moment?

Well, quite frankly, I don't believe that whatever purpose we serve, it is to be inclusive. I am not you, nor are you either of your parents. They have their own purposes and reasons of existence, as do you and I. So, instead of leaving to rest upon the shoulders of others, why not take it into your own hands? It'd help a lot if we all picked up a part of the weight and carried it on one accord.

"When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men -- yes, black men as well as white men -- would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."

- Martin Luther King, Jr., "I Have A Dream" speech, Aug. 28, 1963.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but that statement blankets the entire existence of mankind. Not just in America, not just for people of "Caucasian" or "African" ethnicity.

Tell me, since when were you any better than anyone else? What makes you more worthy of living a greater life than anyone else? Confidence in yourself is justifiable, but a potential arrogance and contorted and condescending sense most certainly is not. Has hatred or anger ever solved your issues? Has it truly resolved great dilemmas or merely redirected them, simply prolonging their aftermath? If everyone had the mentality to keep to their own and look after one another instead of looking after themselves and keeping after others, then there would be a higher level of trust. It's not easy to simply let things roll off your shoulders, but it's not any easier to bring back millions of individuals who've lost their lives to combat on someone else's behalf.

War is justifiable.

Peace is right.

"This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children."

- Martin Luther King, Jr., "I Have A Dream" speech, Aug. 28, 1963.

I had to research what he meant by "gradualism" - it means progressing in gradual steps, as opposed to what I thought of holding an air of condescension over a grand focus of people. And when he spoke of cooling off, he meant the heat that everyone was under from their hands being adjusted - someone else was telling them what to do or mandating something they didn't want to be part of at all. But, contrary to our instinctual medium of comfort, he challenged the people to stay on their toes, to charge forth with all their passions and intentions of making a change - for taking captive this very moment and putting it towards making a brighter and greater future. Not just for their self, but for everyone as well.

"But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence."

- Martin Luther King, Jr., "I Have A Dream" speech, Aug. 28, 1963.

It is known that Martin Luther King, Jr. and his followers exemplified a peaceful means of protests. Peace. They got what they wanted, not by raising their voices or raising their fists, but letting their actions of peace and harmony permeate their environments. It settled into others, and those who were not accepting of the idea of peace and harmony reacted with what they were more familiar with - violence. The end result was nothing short of the regression we can witness in our society today.

People committing crimes against one another. It's a sad fact that we gather around the television, looking for entertainment. It's also a sadder fact that the news highlights all the things that are wrong with us. As a people committing crimes against one another - regardless of gender, race, age and what have you - I think it is very likely that we'll be able to lap over ourselves, winking out in existence in an even shorter amount of time in comparison to the rest of the universe's existence.

That's another thing: the universe is so much bigger than just our minds, our bodies, our homes, our backyards, our cities and towns, our states and provinces, our countries and nations, continents and hemispheres. Believe it or not, it's larger than the very world we live on. Whether you would like to explore it or not is your interest, but I know for a fact that I would like to know what's beyond our clouds and beyond the stars of our galaxy. I may not be able to witness it myself, but the thought that, someday, someone will be able to read about my thoughts and possibly know the information I am curious of is a wild thought.

Now, just think of all the people you don't know and all the things they wish to know, to learn, to pass on. Think of all the things you want to know and learn, to be able to do.

It's a common fantasy to be able to fly. Whether you like heights or not, the freedom of flying sounds just as appealing in a dream as it would in real life.

So, why choose something that is most certain out of our reach right now, like flying, when we can act upon the greater and most impressive thing we can right now, like peace? Attaining world peace is a focus that we have not lost sight of, but we're more or less casting to the wayside as individual beings. "Those people in wherever-they-are don't need my help; someone else will help them" or "I can't make a difference because I'm here and they're there" or any thoughts along those lines are absolutely invalid. Null. Void. The reasons we've developed technology should be to make the world a better place, to further our intentions of helping mankind.

We're in a state higher in capability and capacity than Martin Luther King, Jr.'s time, yet I'd say we're in the same exact spot with social and ethical equality. Sure, you can say that racism is diluted or that it no longer even exists, but I know for a fact I hear people whisper and snicker of certain individuals behind their backs. In foreign tongues, in their behaviors, even in the looks they give one another - the unjustified animosities need to be dismissed and attention to mending families, mending friendships, mending societies needs to become one of our main focuses.

I can't sit here and tell anyone how to fix their lives, how to fix the world step-by-step, because I don't know myself. However, I know it's a possibility.

If you were born back in the fifteenth century when horses were the main means of transportation, would you have imagined that we would have been able to send a human being into space via rocket ship?

So, what makes the rocket scientists of half a century ago different from you right now? Your studies overwhelming or your life not turning the way you want it to? It's funny, and you better laugh, because you're greater than those things. That is why they are in your path, so you can overcome them and become a greater individual. Whatever path you're on, know that you are to reach the end, understand that - even if you may stumble and trip along the way - you are not along the journey on your own.

In the words of Martin Luther King, Jr.:

"We cannot walk alone.
As we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead. We cannot turn back."

- Martin Luther King, Jr., "I Have A Dream" speech, Aug. 28, 1963.

If you are not very fond of Christina Aguilera's voice, John's Lennon's voice, or whoever may be performing the song, just read the lyrics below. The message should rightfully snatch your eyes and settle into your brain.

Imagine by John Lennon

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people living life in peace

You, you may say
I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people sharing all the world

You, you may say
I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And the world will live as one

Martin Luther King, Jr.'s speech is identifiable by the words he uses around the end of the speech. He speaks of his dreams, his dreams of the nation rising to live out the truth and underline message of its creed:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

- United States Declaration of Independence, June-July 1776

"All men". While it was a patriarch society, we've evolved as a people to understand it means something greater. That it means everyone. 

Every. 

Single. 

Person.

The rest of his speech is the iconic mention of his children and hopes of them being within a society of transcendence, of the permission of liberty and freedom bells, and of an optimistic envisioning of people coming together. He ends the speech with this following passage:

"Let freedom ring. And when this happens, and when we allow freedom ring -- when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children -- black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics -- will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual: 'Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!'"

- Martin Luther King, Jr., "I Have A Dream" speech, Aug. 28, 1963.

Whatever nation you're from, whatever gender or persuasion you may be, however you may look or act, know that you are no less nor no greater than the man before you or after you. Know that you are all equal in the sense that you are all capable of magnificent and great things. The capacities of mankind, as evident by the piece of technology you're using to read this now, by the eyes you're reading this with, or by the mind you're understanding it with, are unfathomable.

That is what is unfathomable.

How great you are.

Interesting, is it not?

Well, I hope you've read through most of this, if not the whole thing. Kudos to those who do bother to sit down and read it, whatever time of the day it may be, and gather something from it. But, before I dismiss myself, I'd like to share a tidbit I heard on the radio today. They were leading into a mention of Martin Luther King, Jr. day with a quote from Jimi Hendrix. I thought it'd be pretty cool to share this with you.

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."

- Jimi Hendrix

I, too, have a dream. 

To live happily, bringing about peace and happiness.

<3 ~ Monty.
=]

`` cause THAT`S ALL they knew . h o w . t o . p l a y ;

Has anyone else been experiencing the same thing as I?

Upon this voyage to understand, this intent of the month of January, I've stumbled over quite the number of obstacles. Of course, staying on my feet and barreling through would be my first thought. Alas, I can't help but think that, if they're obstacles, they're in the way for a reason. And, if I've stricken them, then I must return and retry, correct?

Reassess. Re-approach. Respect. Retry.

Results?

It's the tenth. We've about twenty or so days to go. Find your purpose in life as best you can. Find that reason that keeps you going each morning. Find the one person who understands you better than you do yourself.

Understand why all these things come together in your life, as opposed to someone else's. Find all these truths that you care to - the possibilities are endless.

Braille by Regina Spektor. Listen to it. Like it or don't, it's pretty interesting reflective music.

It makes you wonder . . . What do you only know "how to play"?

<3 ~ Monty.
=]

F - rom way [ `` u p . t h e r e `` ] ; - - YOU & i. - - y o u && I.

January 3, 1994. 20:25. Beth Israel Medical Center, Newark, NJ.

Anetta Betsmurrie Wilson of thirty years & Darin Frank Earl of twenty-nine years received a baby boy, weighing eight pounds and six ounces named Darin Frank Earl, II.

"Darin" is English for "great" and German for "little one of great strength"; "Frank" is a shortening of "Franklin" of Middle English origin, meaning "free landholder"; "Earl" is Old English for "nobleman", "warrior", and "prince".

♫ You & I - Ingrid Michaelson ♪

For approximately six-thousand, five-hundred seventy days - two hundred and sixteen months - eighteen years, this baby boy has grown and survived as a young man.

Thank you to everyone who bothers to click whatever might bring them here. Thank you for being as considerate to take the time to sit down and listen to whatever it is I have to say, even if it doesn't help you in the slightest. Thank you for bothering to listen to me speak, for allowing me to possess a voice in such a world as this. Thank you to all of those from my youth, for aiding me in a healthy and successful upbringing - to my family and friends of vague recollection, I send out my heart so that I may reconnect with you all. To those who are fairly close to me and I still hold great ties to, I adore you and I am very grateful for you. Thank you.

For those who've I've grown with, who I've first interacted with, I appreciate you. For giving me an environment to develop and fit into my own mold so that I may break whatever shapes and boundaries others would attempt to set over me. For guiding me to where I needed to be, where I needed to go, and where I need to continue, I thank you with all my gratitude. I am honored. Thank you.

For those who I have learned from, I revere you. For having the capacity to retain all the nuisances that young children may cause or prove to be, yet still hold the capacity to do your job - to come in every single day and, to this very day, make it through the trials and twists and turns life tosses at you - I commend you. I respect you. And let it be known that if I have ever thought or spoken any of the slightest of ill will toward you or any of your associates [ hopefully I haven't, because I don't recall any at all, hahaha ] I am sincerely sorry. Thank you for being a stable stepping stone. I am stronger because of you. Thank you.

For those who I've met and bonded with, I extend my arms to you. Let my hands be ready for your grasp should you need someone to grab onto, let my arms be ready for you to run to should you need someone to hold you, let my heart be open and prepared to connect to you should you need someone to love you. Every single person I've met and spoken to has changed my life in some way, and - especially if you're reading this - don't think any less of my interactions with you: I've become a better person with every single interaction. I've grown because of you, and I've grown into who I want to be. I've grown into who I need to be. Thank you.

For everyone in my life, I thank you. I sincerely appreciate every single action - in the moment seen as a beneficial or detrimental occurrence - I am grateful for it. As according to my personal "dogma":

"Everything happens for a reason."

I've come to understand that better than my own name. And, for all of you being in my life so that I may experience the best possible pathway, surviving up to eighteen years of age and looking forward to seeing many more down a bright and fantastic path . . .

I thank you for being you.

<3 ~ Monty.
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