It's the last day of January!
My January, as I had announced, was dedicated to understanding. I took a step back, figured out what it was I needed to think of, to focus on. Interestingly enough, they weren't the only things I needed to stay on my toes for. It was a rather rough month, managing multiple things at once while also managing a stable and level head. I feel, honestly, like I've come to even understand myself better because of my approach. Understanding why I say the things I do, why I hang around the people I do, why I do the things I do - it's all important in its own rite.
The song is "Adore" by Paramore.
When was the last time you were outside at night and just looked up at the moon and the stars? When was the last time you felt courageous and challenged yourself to count the stars? When was the last time you sat and appreciated the world and everything it has?
The first thing I thought when I got home was how the strings of my family were being pulled taut, how family - as a great test of inner strength and a crutch for development as they are - pushes you into becoming a better person. Then, not even an hour later, my mother steps into the door and says the first thing she always does, every single day. It just settled within me that she's done this, everyday, for about twenty years.
"Thank you, Father."
My mother is a dedicated and practicing believer, so she's been rooted in her spiritual faith and upbringing. It was like a siren through the calm night how right she was to be grateful for a home to sleep in. I cannot say that I do anything less in my mind - I am grateful for the people I've met, for the people I interact with every day, and for the things I can smile about. Even the things that aren't intended with the objective of making me smile demand a smile from me.
But, I was on my way home today, and I was thinking about what I was going to do for this entry. Incidentally enough, the last day of January falls on a Tuesday, so it had to be pretty impressive. But, of course, I don't think I can recount any of my thoughts - if I even had any that were noteworthy - to share. They've simply slipped my mind.
Anywho, I'm interested to hear what everyone's come to understand, what they think their purpose is, what their beliefs are, how that makes them a better person, what they are capable of doing, and how they can change the world.
Ah~! An individual whom I revere made a remark of our generation. I'll paraphrase, since he's not available for consent to directly quote him. He made note of how we are in a bit of a standstill in history. We, as the present generation, are not entirely to be known for anything. We're post-wars and post-depressions; everything is just too bland and level to distinguish it as. He essentially said that we're a faceless generation - a generation with hopes and dreams that can reach for the stars, but will not end up doing so. Whether this was because of our physical and literal capabilities or mindsets, I'm not sure, but I'll disagree with him and argue that remark with him whenever I encounter him.
[ He quoted Fight Club, apparently, though I doubt he doesn't believe in it fully. Haha. ]
He's had his fair share of contemplation, as should you. You should sit down and actually think, do any of the things I think are true resound a solid and weighted influence in my life? I can say I superficially find something interesting, but if it's not true to my nature, then what good does it do?
I'll give you an example: becoming someone influential and inspiring can curtail into becoming famous, which is oft associated with money. However, should money not regulate the means of survival - ie. food and living venues - I would not bother with it. The greed and fallacies that revolve around the simple creation have evolved too far to simply deal with anymore.
But, of course, money's not the only problem in the world. It's not even close to the biggest problem.
I can hear strangers moaning and groaning of how something or the other has cost too much. How something or the other is obscenely made or prepared. How someone is doing a very poor job and should not have the right to do such a thing. Harsh words or not, they are not just. Be thankful for having the resources to buy that over-priced item, or having the options to obtain it elsewhere. Be grateful that someone used time out of their life to do something for you, a stranger. Be glad that someone is doing something to support their families and economies, as we all should be looking to do.
What else have you understood? The purpose of an education? The purpose of doing something repetitive and redundant?
In the words of my great pal, Erik Garnes, "Perfect practice makes perfect."
Perfection's a pretty tough goal to reach for, I'll admit, but if you're on the right track, it won't seem that bad once you get started.
There were some other things I'm sure I wanted to inquire of your understanding: the significance of your conscience; the importance of others in your life and what you would say as your credo - though, I'm a bit tired from the demands of life and am a bit about with the in--Ah~!
I also wanted to speak of first-impressions, stereotypes, and assumptions. Nothing too deep, but just to make a note. On my way home, I saw a band of older adults standing and sitting outside a convenience store, speaking. My music player had run out of battery, so I could hear snippets of their conversation and laughter. They glanced at me as I looked at them, though my first thought, admittedly, was that they were a bit strange and to stray from them. Of course, they're always outside of that convenience store and they chat the evening away with fat cigars. My redeeming pensive moment resolved to, "they're just having fun with their lives as they will."
This made me think of all the times individuals make joke or seriously inflict the differentials of the diversity of people. Gender, race, intelligence, orientation, and the like - none of it matters. Just thought I should officially let you all know that.
So, yeah. On my way home, I stopped and looked up at the sky. I saw a pretty proportional crescent with a dozen handfuls of stars to speckle across the sky. Through the branches of trees that proved a partial frame, I thought it very interesting that I would stop and wonder if anyone else just stopped to look up at the sky.
And, before my music player shut down, the song played - "Adore". It made me think, not of whoever Hayley Williams - lead singer of Paramore, the band - is singing to, but of herself and then I put that in my perspective, and then to the generalized perspective of others. You should adore yourself. Absolutely so. As silly as it may sound, the highest person you look up to should be yourself. Arrogance isn't the way to go, but it'd do well to know that you're your best confidant, best friend, and best essence of yourself.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to run and spend the rest of my last day of Understanding January figuring out what to do for the rest of my life.
<3 ~ Monty.
=]
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