`` But I do it for the kids { LIFE threw the towel in on . . . . Everytime you fall it`s only making YOURCHINSTRONG ; ~

"It's funny that when we was kids they always asked us what we want to be when we grow up. S.M.H. Look where we at now. Did you live up to your dream?"

I've been in a rut. I could write about anything in the world, but I still wouldn't be able to escape the things I think I'm running away from. Life - it's a challenge, it's tough and it's, by no means, an easy experience.

But, I'll be honest - there are two things that make me genuinely happy. Well, there are plenty of things that make me genuinely happy, but these two in particular are noteworthy:

Baby pictures and memories.

That quote's from a friend of one of my elder siblings who I rarely speak to but am fortunate enough to have crossed paths with. Not for any particular in reason other than that they are a person and I've learned from them - hopefully I've also impacted their life beneficially.

Are you in love with this song yet?

Ryan Tedder's probably one of my musical heroes. His voice just makes you feel valiant, the swelling vibrato of the chorus invigorates you after each sweeping verse. Travy McCoy did well to pop up on my YouTube suggestions with an acoustic version of this song. That, along with this cutscene from a recently highlighted game that Alex has embedded an interest within me of, has risen me out of this rut.

I'm harassing Alex for the link to it right now.

The whole thing's the message, but around 3:00 - 3:20 is what hit me.

Evidently enough, it was when my brother was playing the game in the basement, and I was sitting with him, on my computer, listening to live acoustics.

It gave me this nice little tingly feeling - you know, that one you get when you know you're not doing everything wrong and the whole world's not actually against you.

Yeah, that one.

Baby pictures are self-explanatory. Some think it odd, while others detest babies - though, I think a candid of anyone as an infant shows the humility and mutual original. It shows the connection no one cares to acknowledge anymore - we were all once young, all young and innocent. Unaware of the world around us, open and willing to learn.

Now we know what we know - finite, definite, final. No one can tell us a thing to sway our thoughts, our convictions - our beliefs.

When our legs were shorter than the torso they carried, when we laughed with a few teeth missing from our mouth and nearly snorted milk from our noses - when we raised our hands eagerly to answer a question in class, or even to ask about something completely irrelevant to the current topic with just as much energy: there were once times when, regardless of where we were, we were all the same.

Our families may have been different, but you were a child with some kind of story. But, even before you were able to understand you had a story, there were people who looked after you, and you didn't have a care in the world.

You hadn't been introduced to hate or disgust, shielded from weakness and sickness.

Baby pictures. They make others think of us as precious keepsakes, even if for only a moment.

How can you be mad at that face? =D
[ that's me, by the by. ;D sexy face? i think soooo~ ]

Baby pictures actually inflict me forever after. Haha. I normally adore people, and when I see them as infants, I almost coo of the cute. But that's besides the point.

Our greater times, as it is apparently human nature, reside in the past. What we're enduring now is simply turbulent only because we're uncertain of what's to happen. There's an objective we're looking to reach, to complete, to attain and, with each curve and bend life throws at us, it pushes us further and further away. It rises buildings and mountains that scrape at the skies, making us feel insignificant and leading us to believe that we're nothing more than nothing - its pure essence.

I'd say that life does the exact opposite.

It's all perspective.

That propulsion away from your goal?

Think of it as a shortcut.

I said that to my inadvertent companion, and they replied: "Yeah, a pretty long one."

Well, nothing's ever as easy as we want it to be. It's better to be satisfied doing a lot of hard work than to be miserable waiting for the next task to pass by. Makes sense, right?

Well, if you've gathered a message from this, let me know what it is.

It's the tenth day of May, and I've yet to settle on a word for Month by Month. I've been up and down on this roller coaster and I've thought many times that I've had enough. Just as many times as I've reached my limits, life's proved to me that I've got what it takes.

"Oh, I get it - it's here to show you the way. To show you that you've got what it takes to get back on your feet and do this thing!"

- Fang, FFXIII.

You know, you'd have to play the game - legitimately sit and play the game [ or have someone as amazing as Alex tell you all about it, because I'm sure no simple walkthrough will do nearly as good a job as he ] - to understand each character dynamic and understand the ups and downs of the story.

Regardless of biases or prejudices, the message lies within the message and simply nothing more. As with the song, let's take another listen through, shall we?

What's your purpose in life? I know I've asked this before, and it's been all over the place as we try to figure out who we are, but if we just sit for a good thirty seconds and stare at one solid surface while we listen to this song, maybe we'll get a nudge in the right direction.

Do you think maybe it's a lot bigger than just today or tomorrow?

What about all of the memories you have - the bridges you've built and the promises you've made?

They're worth sprinting it to the finish line, aren't they?

Aren't they?

FIGHTER - Gym Class Heroes ft. Ryan Tedder

Just waking up in the morning
And to be well,
Quite honest with ya,
I ain't really sleep well
Ya ever feel like your train of thought's been derailed?
That's when you press on - Lee nails
Half the population's just waitin to see me fail
Yeah right, you're better off trying to freeze hell
Some of us do it for the females
And others do it for the retail

But I do it for the kids, life threw the towel in on
Everytime you fall it's only making your chin strong
And I'll be in your corner like mick, baby, til the end
Or when you hear a song from that big lady

[Bridge]
Until the referee rings the bell
Until both your eyes start to swell
Until the crowd goes home
What we gonna do ya'll?

[Chorus - Ryan Tedder]
Give em hell, turn their heads
Gonna live life til we're dead.
Give me scars, give me pain
Then they'll say of me, say of me, say of me
There goes the fighter, there goes the fighter
Here comes the fighter
That's what they'll say of me, say of me, say of me,
This one's a fighter

[Verse 2]
And if I can last thirty rounds
There's no reason you should ever have your head down
Six foot five, two hundred and twenty pounds
Hailing from rock bottom, loserville, nothing town

Text book version of a kid going nowhere fast
And now I'm yelling "kiss my ass"
It's gonna take a couple right hooks, a few left jabs
For you to recognize you really ain't got it bad

[Bridge]
Until the referee rings the bell
Until both your eyes start to swell
Until the crowd goes home
What we gonna do ya'll?

[Chorus - Ryan Tedder]
Give em hell, turn their heads
Gonna live life til we're dead.
Give me scars, give me pain
Then they'll say of me, say of me, say of me
There goes the fighter, there goes the fighter
Here comes the fighter
That's what they'll say of me, say of me, say of me,
This one's a fighter

Everybody put yo hands up
What we gonna do? [x7] ya'll

If you fall pick yourself up off the floor (get up)
And when your bones can't take no more (c'mon)
Just remember what you're here for
Cuz I know Imma damn sure

Give em hell, turn their heads
Gonna live life til we're dead.
Give me scars, give me pain
Then they'll say of me, say of me, say of me
There goes the fighter, there goes the fighter
Here comes the fighter
That's what they'll say of me, say of me, say of me,
This one's a fighter

'Til the referee rings the bell
'Til both ya eyes start to swell
'Til the crowd goes home,
What we gonna do kid?

I never realized that was what he was saying, for the line in the title of this entry.
Every time I hear it now, it makes me want to cry - but I'm still happy. <3
Because that's exactly what I'm here for.

Oh, and by the way: don't look back at your life like you've done anything and everything wrong. "Everything in life happens for a reason", and your life isn't even close to being over - keep your chin up and keep following wherever it is your heart leads. You're only lost if you let yourself lose sight of the right guide - yourself.

<3 ~ Monty.
=]