I was lazy.
I said I wasn't going to do anything.
It's the Summertime. Why in the world would I do anything productive?
School's out, I'm no longer in High School, and all I have to worry about is getting ready for Freshman Year of college.
Makes sense that all I would do is prepare for the eons of sleep I would miss during my college years, right?
My mom woke me to go to the office with her.
I went every day this week while she was busy being more than one important aspect of the school. This week she was being a clinical instructor. Next week, she would be the administrator to get accreditation for the courses and supply us with a better foundation, a better establishment.
I would have to wake up, regular school hours, to tag along with her to drop off my younger brother at school, and then sit in a chair for a handful of hours while she was nowhere in sight.
The week after will be the same thing, though this week, she said something that lit a spark in my mind.
Most of my teenage years, I was apathetic to most things. I was confined to trying to figure out who I was and wouldn't like any particular influences that didn't coincide with what I wanted. Truthfully, we're too similar of people in certain aspects, so our astrological horns ram together, signifying the plenty clashing experiences we share.
But this week, she told me something that made me rethink my future.
No, Mom. I'm not quitting on my dreams, because that's something even you wouldn't advocate.
"This is your inheritance. Since your older brother isn't capable of taking care of it, and your younger brother is just a baby, it's all in your hands. You need to learn the ropes so that, should anything ever happen to me, you can run the business. People may know how things operate and what we do, but I need you to be able to take control and keep it going."
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| This lady here said that. This picture was from the Graduation Dinner and stuff. Nevermind my face, look at hers. . . . I suppose I got the weird faces from her, then. |
If you have a first- or second-generation parent, you'd understand the motivation and dedication these people have to efficiency. It's.... admirable, to say the least.
Even after my four years of studying what to do on stage, on film, and how to write about the world I've been neglecting and hiding from all the same for so long, I would need to return to this place. I would need to be one of the standing pillars that she could rely on, lean on without abandon and trust that she could leave the business in good hands in the later years of her retirement.
It made me think about the back-up plans she's always been goading me about. I mean, I did it because it was practical, and, as the person I am, being practical is the best way to go about planning futures, but this... this made me change my resolve to aid her.
If I couldn't directly appreciate her efforts as a mom, as a provider and couldn't stand her guts as a person, the least I could do was give her the slice of peace of mind she needed.
I was there all week to get a drop in the mouth - to taste and feel it out. A crash course in managing a business.
And the iota of responsibility I garnered was proportioned to me was more than enough to wipe me out.
How she did it every day and, on top of simply sitting there and doing the tedious errands she needed to, she taught classes, associated with her students, communicated and networked with complete strangers, putting her neck out for the business she founded, and the works.
I've got to buckle down and realize that, whether I like it or not, I'll have to endure the same thing, if not a better rendition.
Because she's weathering the brunt of the storm right now.
Thankfully, she's her husband and my younger brother to give her some kind of company.
Talking to yourself isn't always unhealthy, sure - but the spiels this woman goes on about has me wondering what a filter really is.
Heh.
SO.
My resolve to help her strengthened. And she talked today about giving and helping and what I'm all about, basically.
One of the first students who gained a scholarship to her school was one of my siblings.
My sibling couldn't follow through with the studies and therefore lost the scholarship.
Years later, my mother resolved to offer scholarships to five different high schools and give the high school students opportunities to better their futures and better the world.
I'll admit, that's something I was surprised to hear she had in her.
But, then again, if I didn't make it myself, where did all my great qualities come from?
. . .
My grandmother, I'm convinced. <3
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| Lookin' good, Miss Flo. <3 |
Anyhow. That was nice to hear her say. And she kept looking to me, the tacit reference of my sibling having tinged the conversation's focus to stay away from open wounds.
To say the least, the two sides of my family aren't likely to overlap other than in mention of one another.
To me.
It's okay, really.
It's just, like, a schism of sorts.
When you have two polar opposites, you can always find the happy, middle ground.
=D
My resolve infected other things today. As I was running about, driving the car and such, I stopped by my school - my Alma Mater. I should start calling it that. Second home away from home and all that niceness. Hahah.
I dropped off the cards for our classmate, Robbie, and got to see the teachers for what would seem to be a bit of time. It made me think about the dream I had about him the other night, and then, when he finally communicated with me, I was beyond elation, to say the least. That helped my resolve to help and be active and do stuff, so I went back to my mom's office.
We were busy tending to the loose ends left while she was out of the office. Then we tried at communicating people for college.
Surprisingly enough, the easygoing path to college wasn't so worry-free for me. Financial aid and all.
Oh. Yes. You know all about that, you say? Well, have mercy on your soul. Hahah.
They didn't respond.
So, we went through the daily grind and picked up the work where we needed to. She got me to type up this Affiliation Agreement which was relatively tedious, but not all as bad as I thought it would have been. Then we got home, I showered, and decided to clean up the room my brother and I share.
I mean, I'd much rather not do it while they're not here and I have no reason to move out of my bed other than to open the office and then come back and sleep until the next day.
Sounds like an immaculate series of evenings for me. Haha.
But I got home and I cleaned. And I've been drawing for the past few days. I've also been working on resuming work on my novels - yes, books that authors write ( it's tons of fun, let me tell ya ). And, and, and, well, thinking of the covers.
I've been talking with Erik, and since I'm the only one of the two of us who's as busy as I am, we're resolving to figure this thing out. It's Summertime, and we don't really have much of an excuse to not do what we need to.
So we're gonna start cranking out songs.
The song at the top isn't one of them. This is just what I've been listening to, but forgot to mention and ended up putting at the top to cheat.
So. Yeah. Enjoy it.
I'll come back next week with something actually insightful, I guess.
For right now, just stop complaining and do what you're supposed to.
It'll make everything a lot easier for you later.
I promise.
<3 ~ Monty.
=]
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