we got all these words [ we can`t ] - WASTE THEM ON EACH OTHER .

You know what's always strange?

Surreal moments.

The greatest ones are when you realize something you already knew, but.. like, it's settling in. Y'know what I mean? You get comfortable with something, and then when it's all changing, you take a step back and take a breath and take a moment to gather your thoughts.

And then - just like that - it flashes right by you.

It doesn't feel like just yesterday when I walked through those double doors, practically intimidated by all the strangers, all the individuals who were larger than I, greater in numbers than I. I didn't anticipate that my path would go along the way it is. Take me down the lane of experiences, throw me into the bounties of people I would soon learn to cherish and guide me to the light at the end of the tunnel.

To say that I'm ready to take on the world would be both the truth and a full lie.

♫ All This Time ; OneRepublic ♪

The days when I listened to nothing but OneRepublic and Paramore were most certainly good times. And, incidentally enough, I think it was around Freshman Year when I was crazed over them. I mean, I still am, but my horizons have broadened.

Evidently not nearly enough, though.

"Freshman For A Day."

It's basically the experience wherein an individual is injected into a prospective learning institution and paired with a current student to feel the ebbs and flows, to see if they like the school or not.

I had quite the legend at Oratory; Jared Littlejohn.

To say he is the man is quite the understatement.

Well, I found no complaints with Oratory - I had been wearing khakis since my youth and being surrounded in an atmosphere of brotherhood and companionship would simply be carried over from both my family and middle schooling. Not to mention it was a great, arbitrary fail-safe.

Yep. You could just as easily call it an accident.

"Everything happens for a reason."

Well, I most certainly don't plan on recounting every waking moment in the last four years, but I can easily say that - from the first day I nearly shit myself of sheer nervousness to the last day where I was berating the clock for allowing another waking second pass by to end my career - it's been quite the adventure.

I... I really don't know what happened.

It's all gone by so fast; you and I both realize this, fellow Oratory Preparatory Graduate of 2012. We've shared our laughs, smiles, disappointments, struggles, and burdens alike to the finish line. Don't think that I've forgotten too many things, though.

Going through the Yearbook, which is pretty legit, might I say so myself - shout-out to Mrs. Gribbin and her awesome Yearbook henchmen for being amazing at what they do - I found a lot of good memories, a lot of faces that I wouldn't actually miss [ because I'd think about them nearly every day ] and the like. I went through most of the Senior Pages, and I couldn't help but smile at nearly every page.

Each one is a person. Each person is the son of two individuals. Each one of those sons have spent the years here at Oratory - be it two to the full six - and... Well, hell. You tell me.

What was your worst moment at Oratory?

Was it really that bad?

Well, keep that thought there.

What was your favorite moment at Oratory?

Can't think of just one, right?

Oratory's been our second home away from home. Say what you will, but for a batch of adolescents with raging hormones, irrational, developing minds and indignant personalities that make sparks fly, I think we turned out pretty amazing. If it weren't for the faculty and staff, I don't think any of us would be who we are today. We've each progressed in our own way or form - that is the one thing I admire about nearly everyone in our class.

In fact, if I had the roster of Seniors from the Class of 2012 in my lap right now, I'd be able to go down the list and relay my sentiments. Of course, I'm far too lazy to pull over the Yearbook that's within arm's reach.

If you're really that curious, you can ask me yourself. Hahah.

My friends, older and newer, I feel like I've developed great bonds, made great friendships and solidifying the fantastic memories - from Biology Class, Freshman Year to the simple luxuries of Senior Privileges.

It's a bittersweet moment for us, just like many others experiencing the same thing, having already experienced such or going to experience it all in their future - parting ways. After all we've been through, after all we've trudged through. The exams, the social buffers, the ice-breaking, earth-shattering, pivotal moments in our lives - all of it matters just as much as these moments of the weekend where we become official members of the Oratory Prep Rams Family.

Again.

I've been jamming out to this song. I want to just sing it. It may not hold the same significance to you as it does to me, but, trust me, if you sit long enough and think intensely so, you'll find something.

I'll be the first to admit, I wasn't overly fond of knowing everyone's name or of even speaking to a lot of people. But, that's life - things change, people change.

Even as we grow to be different people with different paths, don't let our bridges - quaking and craggy in our wake - completely crumble. Call up some help and go back to the good times, and patch up the holes. Or, better yet, knock it out and start anew.

You've got the rest of your life to make new friends and make amends with the old ones.

Let's see.

As I'm typing this, I'm wearing our Alumni sweatpants. They're somethin' else, huh? Kieran suggested that I should try them on, and now they're super warm - a bit too warm. But, I'll live. Hahah.

Ah! The Yearbook! Here it is.

It's called the Aries - like the Astrological sign.
Which is a Ram. Because our mascot's Stevie the Ram.
And, as an OP Ram, I think it's pretty important
that it is known
that we're the best.

This book is filled with tons of goodies. I didn't bother to scan it all, because you've all got your own, and if there are people who wanna check it out, I'll tote it around wherever.

It's so weird.
I'm trying to be insightful, but all I can say are these things that barely make any sense. Am I making sense? I hope I'm making sense. Whatever the case, I need to buckle down and actually get serious with this thing. Okay. I think I found something pretty good. Here we go.

It's my Senior Page.
I mean, I dislike the picture for plenty of reasons, but that's besides the point;
the content holds it all.

And I mean every single word of it.

I've had my own struggles with some of the guys, and it was the same group of individuals grinding my gears who made me feel like I had a reason to wake up every morning. It's funny, really - we're more like a family than we would admit to being. You know, I noticed something: there's a spectrum in our class - not just financially, ethnically, or what have you, but just a general spectrum.

There are cliques, as par standard high school order, but the spectrum I'm talking about is inclusive. It includes all of the fifty five [ right? ] of us in the class. It deals with our personalities, our backgrounds, our mindsets, and our futures.

If there's a generation of OP Alumni to do something for the world, I think we're the ones to pull it off.

There are so many strong leaders, so many intelligent guys that don't oft get recognition as much as the "elite" do, but there isn't a weak link in any aspect - each one of you is a great influence to me and who I've become, so I thank you for that.

And, of course, the atmosphere of Oratory wouldn't be what it is if it weren't for us. I don't know if it's the religious ambiance being instilled in the school and its body or simply the humble and selfless souls that have grown stronger. A batch of young men that are the embodiment of a bright future and great potential to promise the world.

The Program to the Baccalaureate Mass for Oratory Prep Class of 2012.

You know what I find funny?

I was thinking about a crap load of things to say for this entry while I was getting ready for the mass. And... none of them have yet to surface. I figured I'd end up forgetting about them anyhow, and I had this great idea to try and write the entry in the back of my Yearbook, but the dinner was too much of a delightful experience.

Selflessness. And St. Justin, the Martyr for Sunday.

I gotta look him up.

Wikipedia: Justin Marytr

Oh. I should have figured. His feast day is the first of June. Makes sense now.

Well, Oratory has not only made a name for itself in the academic and athletic departments, but its service to the less fortunate is something that I've found myself most in tune with. Seeing you guys, along with the younger students, out there helping people always makes me think if I were in their positions, I'd be insurmountably grateful to the school for raising awareness and encouraging such partnership. I know they may not seem like much to us when we're on the bus to or from, but for the people who have little and find it hard to keep their heads above the surface, I'm sure it makes the world of a difference.

I'm definitely going to miss you guys. As you go off to college and further your studies, I do hope you'll remember the things Oratory taught us, and having allowed them to be embedded within our memories, I think what Mr. Crum said about the Alumni Commandments could very well be feasible - going out and spreading the word of Oratory Prep and all.

These segways are horrible, but it's okay. I don't think any of you care anymore by now.

So, yeah. I definitely anticipate seeing a lot of your faces even after we're settled in other states. I look forward to catching up on the amazing things you've all done, hearing the crazy stories about your individual sojourns of your unique lives, and I'm proud of each and every one of you, just like our parents, families, friends, and Alma Mater are of us.

I keep hearing mention of Graduation being for someone in particular. Sure, it's for us, or it's mostly for our parents, but Graduation is inclusively ours - both yours and mine and theirs to experience together.

It doesn't take one person to make a Graduation and its processions what it is.

It takes an entire group of graduates - and, in our case, an entire group of young men with bright futures and blazing trails.

This is our high school graduation.

Our only one.

And this brings me to the aspect of our graduation wherein our religious teachings have instructed us - goaded us, more so - to act with the goodness in our hearts.

Our classmate, Robbie as he is affectionately called, is missing his High School graduation - missing our high school graduation. It's a sad thing, really; especially because I don't think there's a single person in our class who can bring themselves to say they dislike Robbie in any regard. Let our prayers be with him and his family in these hard times, because I don't think any of us would be as distraught as they are for the incidents to have lined up like this.

I was following along with the line of posts on his Facebook wall, and one of the ones that stuck out the most to me was Gerry's. All personal strings attached to the name, I respect Gerry for what he said.

"Hey kid.

Just wanna say that it really upsets me that you're not gonna be there with us tomorrow. You earned the right to walk up there and get that diploma.

It's been a great four years getting to laugh at your hilarious ridiculousness and awesome sense of humor and I can honesty say you would always brighten my mood when I was having a rough day. Hope you're doing alright and get better soon.

And if it's not too much trouble crack a smile when you read this, and maybe I can brighten your mood for once.

- Benign Lamb"

Robbie is a rather eccentric character, so his affection came in... strange nicknames.

As you can see, Gerry's is "Benign Lamb".

Regardless, the line that stuck out the most to me was " You earned the right to walk up there and get that diploma. " It doesn't help to think that it's the same with everyone else - everyone endured the five days a week, everyone did what they could to get where they are, where they wanted to be.


And to see the circumstances rip one of our own right out of our reaches, it's completely disheartening.


But, like one of my good friends, Tim Kelly said, "We take care of our OP Brothers. <3"


And I began to think about it.


And the symbiotic, complementary relationships we all have - despite the angst and drama that guys admittedly have - stay true to this setting of a Brotherhood.


Robbie, you're quite the character. It's indeed a shame that you're not going to be present when we're all either outside or inside, receiving our diplomas, relishing the bittersweet moments of another step in our lives with us. But, do know this - we've been thinking of you every step of the way. You're with us somehow, and that's half a step, I suppose. You can use the rest of your abstract mind to come up with a way to make sense of that and the rest of it all. If you're not feeling up to it, that's just as fine. I'll just use my recollection of all of your greatest moments - all of your Prime in Oratory - to my benefit. Like, perhaps, become a better writer by becoming as flexible as you permit yourself to be or become a better person by learning from the experiences we've had and will have. Regardless, don't lose sight of your goals.

If you really wanna rub Phillip Seymour Hoffman's stomach and blow out a candle while you're at it, I'll be the one to hold him down for you.


. . .


That sounded really wrong, but it's okay.

Everyone who's read his page would understand it. And that's all that matters.


I love you, Robbie. <3 Don't ever stop being yourself and don't hesitate to come and find me if you ever need anything. You already know all of the tedious, fine-line work is of no concern to me, so even if you just need to talk about anything ever, I'm your man.


I promise.


I'm honored to be able to consider all of you brothers of mine.


Especially with the exposed nerve I've got in regards to my very own family, brother in particular. You've all helped like I've been able to patch up this typical, maimed life I've somehow found myself in. Though, with each of us leaning on each other, I think it'll do better for us to carry on than to try and take a knee for a rest - we're an unstoppable force.

"So I'm straight in a straight line, running back to you."

All in all, it's been a rough four years filled with so many things that I don't want to start listing because I'm pretty sure they're not actually in there but we can pretend that they were and then the people reading this and not understanding anything [ probably including a lot of you ] will be very confused.


And let's keep it that way. =]

Congratulations, Oratory Preparatory Class of 2012.

"Know, Learn, and Serve" to "Prepare lives." 

" With Gratitude, we recall times past with friends;
With Joy, we celebrate this present moment with all we love;
With Hope, we anticipate the future with the entire world. "

"One by one."

Your brother <3

- Darin F. Earl, II
=]