Bon Iver - "Holocene"
I don't want to be weak.
I don't want to be strong.
I just want to be me.
Today, everything's either with you or against you. The happy medium's only in our head, it seems, that middle ground where everyone coexists is almost always an idea to contemplate with frays of efforts sprinkled about the earth. As if our efforts to remind each other that we're not all that bad - that there's some good left in us somewhere - sticks out like a sore thumb.
Yet we always hear of the danger and carnage of the world via the news. Some people believe it as conspiracy, others merely pay all attention to it and heed their lifestyles with caution.
I just want to be me.
This video, you guys are probably curious of. I never actually watched one of Tyler Oakley's videos, nor any of the twins, but they're apparent, famous YouTubers. Anyway, the video's of gay vernacular and what have you. Interesting stuff.
I never expected to stumble over this topic, but I don't see why not.
Special shout out to Erikka-Jay Johns, who provided the video and requested the blog topic.
I thought it was pretty humorous. The twins seem like great guys, really entertaining, and I might check into some of their other stuff. Most of my online outlets feed through Tyler's stuff, and while I have not formed an opinion, I've formed an impression of him from my "outlets" and their commentaries. Always entertaining, though.
I think it's good. The video, the content: it's relatively educational, focused to an age group who's in similarity with the very broadcasters themselves. They're talking freely and openly, all three of them with light-hearted atmosphere and substantial pride. It just goes to show how some boundaries and tension - how the resistance of the world and its inhabitants can easily be broken down.
Kudos to them.
It just makes me think. Just about everything does, at least. Haha. But this, in particular, opens my eyes even further.
It goes to show how open the world is about it. Granted, I was relatively sheltered from all the "wrong" or what you might call it when I was younger, I still am more or less, but now it's more common for someone to say something of their sexual orientation or even wear attire that'll insinuate such impressions.
Two things about this.
One. One day, I was scrolling through my News Feed, and I saw that my cousin had posted a status. There was no particular reason it stuck other than my impression of ignorance. I don't know her exact reason for posting it, nor did I inquire of it, but she shared her opinion openly for everyone to see. It went something along the lines of: "Today, everybody's gay. He's gay, she's gay, I'm gay!" As ridiculous as it sounds, it just seems unnecessary to me. The worst we use always retain their connotations of bad histories more so than their actual denotation.
gay
[gey] adjective,1. homosexual.2.of, indicating, or supporting homosexual interests or issues: a gay organization.3.having or showing a merry, lively mood: gay spirits; gay music. Synonyms: cheerful, gleeful, happy, glad, cheery, lighthearted, joyous, joyful, jovial; sunny, lively, vivacious, sparkling; chipper, playful, jaunty, sprightly, blithe. Antonyms: serious, grave, solemn, joyless; staid, sedate; unhappy, morose, grim; sad, depressed, melancholy.4. bright or showy: gay colors; gay ornaments. Synonyms: colorful, brilliant, vivid, intense, lustrous; glittering, theatrical, flamboyant. Antonyms: dull, drab, somber, lackluster; conservative.5. Slang: Often Disparaging and Offensive. awkward, stupid, or bad; lame: This game is really gay.
It shouldn't be, but it was surprising. It makes sense, seeing as how the greatest application and acceptance of the word "gay" is to apply to the persons attracted to someone of the same sex; but I was expecting the dictionary site to have its original denotation as the first. Simply goes to show how powerful words can be. And, naturally, the verbal application of the word in all senses is incorporated, so the fifth definition lists it as "disparaging and offensive," which everyone should know but most choose to ignore.
Let's look up "straight."
straight
[streyt] adverb, noun, adjective
1. without a bend, angle, or curve; not curved; direct: a straight path.2. exactly vertical or horizontal; in a perfectly vertical or horizontal plane: a straight table.3. (of a line) generated by a point moving at a constant velocity with respect to another point.4. evenly or uprightly formed or set: straight shoulders.5. without circumlocution; frank; candid: straight speaking.
Weird. Or maybe it isn't that weird. But with "gay"'s definition altered, I would have probably surmised that there would be some amendment for heterosexuals as well. Whatever the case, it's not that concerning.
Two. On Tumblr, there was this post about clothing - articles of cloth that we drape over ourselves to hide our communal shame and shield us from the conditions of the earth in which we live. They were meant to add variety to our lives after a while and ultimately defined us.
Strands of yarn and cotton and matted material became us in our places.
There will always be people who like other people. Even if they're someone like them, someone different, or someone who's neither like them or different, there will be an attraction of some sort. And you can't curb the human instinct in any degree. That's like curbing the heart to beat on command, or the want to survive to switch on demand.
It just isn't natural.
Loving the same sex isn't natural?
Neither is killing unjustly. Or stealing unnecessarily. Or lying profusely.
But every human's done this at least once.
An insect. A treat. A white lie.
Love is natural, no matter what it's applied to.
The languages we speak hold power. I know so many of my friends who are able to speak multiple languages fluently. The most is one of my pals across the states who can count on both hands. "Pats for Patrick" indeed. But it's more of how we use our tongues rather than what's available for them.
Not once have I heard my brother utter word of any sexual orientation regard in ill form. He is ten, and though naive and protected, he represents the quintessence of man. To its very core, it is good.
To its very core, it is good.
I don't know what you wanted me to say about this, Eri, but thank you for sharing it. I feel as though perspectives of it will differ greatly, but its truth won't sway.
Unbiased, entertaining and wholesome goodness. To share with the people of the world one world that's become a culture with another.
To bridge the gap of misunderstanding with sturdy planks of knowledge and great support beams of admittance.
And, believe it or not, you know a gay person and a straight person.
Fascinating, indeed.
Personally, I see the point of labeling one's self. It makes it easier to understand one another and find a matching color. But I believe that the mere essence of holding love inside yourself and leaving it raw and unstructured to fit whoever it chooses properly - opposite or same - is much more important than trying to preserve our one-tracked mind and our promises from ages and eons before.
There are always going to be "straight" people and there are always going to be "gay" people. Those are the two extremes that are extremely flexible so as to cover a whole spectrum between.
And then there are people alongside me who just don't bother to set upon the spectrum in one, fixed point.
I much rather would spend my whole life loving everyone I come across in the way my love shapes for them.
Best part?
For me, it never runs out.
It just changes and forms a special bond with each and every person.
And that I am grateful for.
"Love yourself."
<3 ~ Monty.
=]
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