t w e n t y . t h r e e . n o w . . . . . . . . . . . . . [ got life in his hands ] . . . . . `` he`s looking around AND HE DOESN`T UNDERSTAND `` :: `cause life`s too busy , things get in the way . . . . . . . . . . . . we all feel alone every single day .

You know what's funny?

I never made a theme for July.

Well, it's not funny, especially if you have no clue what I'm talking about [ which seems to happen a lot when I talk to people, hahah ] but it's definitely something noteworthy. Whatever the case, it'd do well to rifle through the entry for this month. I dropped lines when I could. Wasn't exactly completely preoccupied with pressing matters, seeing as how writing is all I seem to do.

At the beginning of this month, I figured it would fly by, but I also had this weird misconception that it'd crawl by all the same. And, you know, it's really... strange, the idea of time crawling by, because you expect it to be something along the lines of how you anticipate, obviously, but then it gets there and you're just sitting there, as if there was more to come.

I missed a few things here and there. Some were more important than others.

I recently rediscovered that my laziness will often bite me in the butt: when I resolve that I want to relax, recline, take it easy and not do anything for the day or go anywhere, I usually regret it. Time wasted, less memories made, and more things to pile onto the stack for the next day. What's better is that I know I'd have a blast [ with most of the things ], and when my circumstances don't permit something in my window of opportunity to be feasible any longer, I get understandably upset.

I mean, it happens to all of us, right?

Whether you did what you needed to or just spent another month with your face buried in a pillow or sand, in your bed or at the beach, respectively - or maybe it's even winter where you are and you spent it huddled up with blankets and a book or something - it's another month gone by. Not anything we can replay, retrace, or redo. Just a messed muddling of things we can learn from.

Oh. I almost forgot the song.

Seems to happen a lot now, doesn't it? Haha.

Cartel - "Wasted"

Pandora served me well in shoving Cartel down my throat on my Paramore Station. I then started racing to mash the thumbs-up almost every time I saw a Cartel song pop up.

And then this one came on.

And I just froze.

Take a good listen to it.

Here go the lyrics.

Seriously. Read along.

Okay. It starts up again. That's the beauty of InfiniteLooper.

I've been talking to a lot of my distant friends as of late. The ones I grew up with, the ones I went to school with are all busy with their own matters and can't be bothered because they're on a steady path to constructing their lives. As you can tell, the lyrics in this song are just about squandering time in life and the leaps and bounds to and fro milestones. It's magic of music that permits a lyricist to dance around time, but when we look at reality, look at our grim realities and our ghastly pasts, we figure that things are always on a downward slope for us. That things that happen for a reason are happening badly because we've no particular purpose, favor, or inclination to become anything for this world.

And then there are moments when we couple the ignorance and abominable behavior of a few with the fault of our entire race - not ethnicity, not citizenship, but our race as a species - to the point where we give up all hope.

And if enough stars wink out in the night sky, we'll have nothing to look up to and fill ourselves with from our lowly, naive beginnings.

The words of a mediocre, middle-class, genial, teenage boy may not reach the leaders of nations, nor the ears of his own peers, but whoever can read this very well should exercise it, as I try my best, even if it isn't always my all. I've given myself a purpose, and I've said it many times before for you all to do the same. And, if it's the wrong kind of purpose, you should reconvene and rediscover the kind of person you are. You may not always have all the time in the world, but you have now, and that's all that really matters.

Who's going to incarcerate you if you think for two minutes about who you've been, who you are now, and who you want to be in the future?

And who's going to hate you if you want to change the world for the better?

Of course, the people who don't want to change because they're comfortable with their state as of now and who afraid of what is out of their control.

But, don't forget, they are just as important on this earth, in this existence as you are. No one person is more significant, more capable than any other.

"No one belongs here more than you."

I still want that book. If someone gets it for me, I'd still be the worst friend ever, because my friends give me so many things and I just have nothing to offer them. The best I have to offer is my companionship and on-going presence.

Speaking of which, I've been fighting to get back into control of myself. No, I wasn't, like, overtaken by some alien forces, or perhaps even the unseen forces of the cosmos, but I just let everything escape me. If I wasn't feeling well, it was because I had slipped into bad habits of poor sleeping structures or relatively sub-par eating schedules; if I didn't submit a post that was on par, it was most likely because I was being lazy - that's it. But, I've made myself a regiment. It's going to burn me out for the rest of the summer, but, like I've come to realize, it's better to over-exert myself than to under-project my efforts.

On-going or every day, I try to get as much as I can done. Hopefully it'll yield better than my makeshift lists.

So much work to do? Just means that I have an even better reason to be focused.

"We're wasted, no, no -

We're all wasted."

It just rings in my head that we, as a collective entity, are relaxed. There are people who get up at three in the morning to do what they need to do while others merely wait for the completion of others as a trigger for their musings of obligatory tasks: "Should I do it now?" "I don't feel like it." "I'll get to it eventually."

I'm a culprit as much as anyone else. Probably the biggest hypocrite you'll meet in your life, though I've a counter, genuine persona to me, as you may have already been able to gather. I'll find a reason to do something, and then find better reasons for it not to be done.

And then use them as excuses.

I think I'm going to wrap it up here. Always as food for thought - no grave, life-shifting notions, though it'd be really cool to see a bunch of people all over the nations openly instilling courage, confidence, and comfort into the future generations, and then that viciously delightful cycle continuing on.

I'm well convicted to the point that I'll be one of those individuals trying my best to better the world when I'm well and able.

As of right now, I've got work to do - and that's to make sure my life isn't wasted.

P.S. - I check the demographics of audience for this blog every now and then, and I'm actually surprised to see its reception reaching out of my own little state. Though, my throwing it at everyone does help, it's really incredible how it reaches places like India [ even with one reader ] or Russia [ with a couple more ] and even Brazil [ with a handful ]. I'm not sure if they're regular readers as I'm a regular writer [ as regular as you can call it, I guess ], but I'd like to just thank everyone for entertaining me whenever I threw the links at them, or even if you've stumbled across it on happenstance. Thank you very much, I'm greatly honored that this thing that started for myself and then one friend has evolved to such a state, even if I can't say I'm a heralder and prophet for all nations. Hahah.

Not too far off from it, though. Not yet.

Let's make the theme for this month: Acknowledgment.

<3 ~ Monty.
=]